How to Survive A Marriage!

https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/becoming-one

Selfish means to be focused on self.   Two people living selfish is hell on earth.  

1.  How do we become one?

Genesis 2:24 NLT)

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

Ephesians 5:31 (NLT)

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.

1 Corinthians 6:15-17 (NLT)

15 Don’t you realize that your bodies are actually parts of Christ? Should a man take his body, which is part of Christ, and join it to a prostitute? Never! 16 And don’t you realize that if a man joins himself to a prostitute, he becomes one body with her? For the Scriptures say, “The two are united into one.” 17 But the person who is joined to the Lord is one spirit with him.

When we are intimate in body, we become one body.  However, we must become intimate in spirit, too!

 We must die...to self.  When we became one with God, we died to self.   We, too, must become one with our spouse, and we must die to self. The world would be a lot better off if we'd just die...to self.  

Don't leave any kind and good thing unsaid or undone.

The dominate person in the marriage needs to die first.  

Jesus has dominion, and He had to die first.  God made marriage to kill you, so you'll be happy.  

Men are like dogs.  If you praise him, you've got him.  

2.  Why do we become one?

We have three test.

1.  Faith

2.  Family

3. Financing.

Malachi 2:8-10 NLT)

8 “Should people cheat God? Yet you have cheated me!

“But you ask, ‘What do you mean? When did we ever cheat you?’

“You have cheated me of the tithes and offerings due to me. 

9 You are under a curse, for your whole nation has been cheating me. 

10 Bring all the tithes into the storehouse so there will be enough food in my Temple. If you do,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, “I will open the windows of heaven for you. I will pour out a blessing so great you won’t have enough room to take it in! Try it! Put me to the test! 

(Faith & Financing)

The tithe is the only thing that we can test God on.  You are foolish not to tithe.  God gives us His money back guarantee.  

Malachi 2:13-16 (NLT)

13 Here is another thing you do. You cover the Lord’s altar with tears, weeping and groaning because he pays no attention to your offerings and doesn’t accept them with pleasure. 

14 You cry out, “Why doesn’t the Lord accept my worship?” I’ll tell you why! Because the Lord witnessed the vows you and your wife made when you were young. But you have been unfaithful to her, though she remained your faithful partner, the wife of your marriage vows.

15 Didn’t the Lord make you one with your wife? In body and spirit you are his.[a] And what does he want? Godly children from your union. So guard your heart; remain loyal to the wife of your youth. 

16 “For I hate divorce!” says the Lord, the God of Israel. “To divorce your wife is to overwhelm her with cruelty,” says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. “So guard your heart; do not be unfaithful to your wife.”  

(Faith & Family)

God loves people, but hates divorce because divorce hurts people.

Disarming Anger & Resolving Conflicts

The Four Don'ts of Dealing with Anger

Ephesians 4:26-27 NKJV

26 “Be angry, and do not sin”: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil.

1. Don’t deny your anger. (“Be angry …

Cultivate an atmosphere of honesty.

2. Don’t justify sin because you are angry. (“ … and do not sin … ”)

3. Don’t go to bed on your anger! (“ … do not let the sun go down … ”)

4. Don’t give the devil a place in your marriage!

A. He is a deceiver.

James 1:19-20 NKJV

19 So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath; 20 for the wrath of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

B. He is an accuser.

Four Steps to Resolving Conflicts in Marriage

1. Confront in a loving and positive manner.

Proverbs 15:1 NKJV

1 A soft answer turns away wrath,But a harsh word stirs up anger.

2. Complain and don’t criticize.

3. Listen to your spouse and believe them.

I Corinthians 13:4-7 NKJV

4 Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; 5 does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; 6 does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; 7 bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

4. Forgive and let it go.

What is the Holy Spirit saying to me through this message?

The Single Life

https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/the-single-life

(Romans 1:21-25 NLT) They knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused. Claiming to be wise, they instead became utter fools… As a result, they did vile and degrading things with each other’s bodies. They traded the truth about God for a lie. 


The Single Life “Single” Status Defining Dating Social Space Hurt & Hesitation 


1 Corinthians 7:7 NIV “But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another.” 


1 Corinthians 7:32-34 MSG I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. 


“Free of Complications” 


Single and Simple 



Ecclesiastes 3:1 NIV There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens. 


“Pleasing the Master” 



Single and Seeking 


Matthew 6:33 NIV “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.” 


Psalm 23:1 NIV The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 


“Time and Energy” 


Single and Serving 


Psalm 92:12-15 NIV The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, they will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, they will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, “The Lord is upright; he is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him.” 


“Whole and Holy” 


Single and Secure 


Matthew 7:24-25 NLT “Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. 



“If you try to build intimacy with another person before you have gotten whole on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself.” – Dr. Les Parrott

Satan's 5 Lies

https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/the-devils-lies

Genesis 3:1-7 (NLT)

3 The serpent was the shrewdest of all the wild animals the Lord God had made. One day he asked the woman, “Did God really say you must not eat the fruit from any of the trees in the garden?”  (Lie 1) 

2 “Of course we may eat fruit from the trees in the garden,” the woman replied. 

3 “It’s only the fruit from the tree in the middle of the garden that we are not allowed to eat. God said, ‘You must not eat it or even touch it; if you do, you will die.’” 

4 “You won’t die!” the serpent replied to the woman. 

(Lie 2) 

5 “God knows that your eyes will be opened as soon as you eat it, and you will be like God, knowing both good and evil.” 

(Lie 3 & 4)  

6 The woman was convinced. She saw that the tree was beautiful and its fruit looked delicious, and she wanted the wisdom it would give her. So she took some of the fruit and ate it. Then she gave some to her husband, who was with her, and he ate it, too. 

7 At that moment their eyes were opened, and they suddenly felt shame at their nakedness. So they sewed fig leaves together to cover themselves. 

(Lie 5)

1. The devil gets us to question God's Word.   

1 Thessalonians 2:13 (NLT)

13 Therefore, we never stop thanking God that when you received his message from us, you didn’t think of our words as mere human ideas. You accepted what we said as the very word of God—which, of course, it is. And this word continues to work in you who believe.

2.  The devil scoffs at the negative consequences of sin.  

Psalm 16:11 (NLT)

¹¹ You will show me the way of life,
    granting me the joy of your presence
    and the pleasures of living with you forever.

3.  The devil accuses God of evil intent.  

Romans 12:2 (NLT)

2 Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

We can't change God.  We must let God change us. 

4.  The devil advertises sin as beneficial.  

Proverbs 14:12  (NLT)

¹² There is a path before each person that seems right,
    but it ends in death.

5.  The devil uses sin to create shame that destroys our future relationships.

Psalm 34:5 (NLT)

⁵ Those who look to him for help will be radiant with joy;

    no shadow of shame will darken their faces.

How to respond.  

1. We must not be defensive.  It's not about our will, but God's will.  

Luke 22:42  (NLT)

42 “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” 

2.  God doesn't want remorse.  

John 3:17 (NLT)

17 God sent his Son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.

Romans 8:1-2 (NLT)

8 So now there is no condemnation for those who belong to Christ Jesus. 2 And because you belong to him, the power of the life-giving Spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death.

3. God wants repentance or for us to turn from our way to His.   

2 Corinthians 7:10 (NLT)

10 For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death.

Repentance is a moment of pain.  Being unrepentant is a lifetime of pain.

Genesis 3:8-10  (NLT)

8 When the cool evening breezes were blowing, the man and his wife heard the Lord God walking about in the garden. So they hid from the Lord God among the trees. 9 Then the Lord God called to the man, “Where are you?”

10 He replied, “I heard you walking in the garden, so I hid. I was afraid because I was naked.”

Where are you?

Are you hiding from God?

Are you hiding from others?

People hide.  

God pursues.   

Luke 6:6-10  (NLT)

6 On another Sabbath day, a man with a deformed right hand was in the synagogue while Jesus was teaching. 

7 The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees watched Jesus closely. If he healed the man’s hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath.

8 But Jesus knew their thoughts. He said to the man with the deformed hand, “Come and stand in front of everyone.” So the man came forward. 

9 Then Jesus said to his critics, “I have a question for you. Does the law permit good deeds on the Sabbath, or is it a day for doing evil? Is this a day to save life or to destroy it?”

10 He looked around at them one by one and then said to the man, “Hold out your hand.” So the man held out his hand, and it was restored!

Jesus knows what we are thinking.  

God wants to heal what we have hidden.