For the first time in my life, I felt clean.

I was raised up in Church.  

Church on Sunday Morning.  

Sunday Night.  

Sunday School.  

Training Union.  

Wednesday Night Prayer, Royal Ambassadors .  

Morning devotions before school.  On and on it goes.  

Church to me was spending a lot of time hating Church and waiting for it to be finally over.  

On Sunday evening, I was exhausted.   

No matter how many times that I asked God to save me.  

I still felt lost.  

Growing up in Church, I did have one bright spot which was attending 1^st Baptist Church of Dallas, Texas with Pastor W. A. Criswell for one year.  

It was fun, and I could feel the presence and awe of God.  

Then, we moved to Tupelo, Mississippi to another boring church. 

While I was at 1^st Baptist Dallas, I had picked up the habit of reading the Bible daily; however, I didn’t understand it much, and I was frustrated.  

One day I told God.  

I’ve had enough.  You either show yourself to me or I’m Done!  

No more reading the Bible, Prayer, Church, or believing.    

I decided to go home after school on March 4^th, 1974, and pray to God for 1 hour.  I thought to myself.  

Surely, by doing this, I’ll break thru.  I started by praying the best King James Bible Prayer that I could muster.  

Then, I looked at my watch and just 5 minutes had past.  There I sat in frustration.

While I sat there, I decided to tell God about my day.  In my mind’s imagination, I reviewed my day.   

To my amazement, I saw me!  As I walked through my day in my mind, I confessed my selfishness and tabulated each sin.  

When I was finished, I had counted 33 of them.  

There I sat in shock realizing my plight.  

I was going to hell!  

As I cried, in my mind’s imagination, I saw Jesus on the Cross.     

I don’t know how he came to be there, but there he was.  

As I cried looking on Him, I began to talk to myself.  I said that Jesus being God, would have surely known my plight beforehand.  

33 sins times by 365 days times 15 years of life.  I had committed 180,675 sins.   

No wonder I was frustrated.  

Then, I said to myself.  If Jesus knowing my sins died for me anyway as an act of His will.

Surely, He would save me if I’d but ask as an act of my own will.  That thought save me.

I mustered up the best apology I could think of.  I said God you know that I’m a sinner; however, I know that you sent your Son Jesus to die for me if I but ask.  

Here I am asking.   

It would be illogical to think that you would send your Son to die for me, and then tell me I won’t forgive you if I but ask.   

For the first time in my life, I believed that He forgave me, and I was saved.

For the first time in my life, I felt clean.  

It was amazing.  

First was the fact that Jesus died for me.  

Second, it was my faith that He saved me by me believing that He would keep His word (1 John 1:9).  

Lastly, was the feeling of cleanliness and forgiveness.  

Then I thought about future sins.  I said to Jesus I need help!  

I can’t do this by myself.   

Then, I remember someone saying “ask Jesus to come into your life”. (Revelation 3:20)  

I said Jesus I can’t live this Christian life without you.  

Will you come in, and do it for me?  

I don’t know why you would not come into me because I am now clean and then, I said thanks.  Here I am 44 years later.  

Loving Church.   

Prayer.  

The Bible.   

Not frustration.  

It comes as natural as breathing.