How to make true friends

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone.   

It's not.  

The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel like you're all alone.  Robin Williams

Our culture is slowly becoming an emotional desert.  We may be surrounded with people; however, we feel like no ones knows us.  Our digital connections do not truly connect us with people.

As we look at our New Year's resolutions, we should be looking for deeper connections.  God did not create us to be disconnected.  God made us to know Him and each other.  

Matthew 22:37-39  (NIV)

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 

38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 

39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

The essence of life is this connection. 

John 13:34-35  (NIV)

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I (Jesus) have loved you, so you must love one another. 

35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

The defining mark of a Christian is our connection to God and with each other.  The measurement of that connection is Jesus Christ Himself. 

We can have a 5 star connection with God and each other, but it's going to cost you. 

Here are the 5 stars of quality relationships.  This is what it's going to cost you.

  

1. Consistent time with God and other believers.  

Anything done without consistency is ineffective. You have to say no to a lot of things even to yourself to have consistent time with God. 

Jesus choose 12 believers to connect with.  Then, He choose Peter, James, and John to connect with even deeper.

2.  Quality time. We need to have quality time with God and other believers.  

Acts 2:44-46 (NIV)

44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 

What we put into something.  We get out of it.  Don't we say that we spend our time. What are you buying with your time and what is your time buying for you? 

3.  Will you trust God and other trustworthy believers, and can you be trusted by them?   

Independence breaks the connection.  What we need is interdependent not independence.  Paul said it like this.  

Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

God will give you more than you can handle because God never intended for you to handle it along.

  

There is a risk to trusts.  We've all been burned, but we must learn to trust the right people again.

4.  We must share our lives authentically with others.   

We must share our emotions.  Didn't Jesus ask His friends to pray for Him before the cross?

We can have a one dimensional relationship with others.  Like when we share only work.  Then, we can have relationships that we can trust in all areas of our lives.    

Acts 4:32 (NIV)

32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had.

5. We must have faith in God and with trustworthy people of faith.  

When Adam and Eve sinned, we lost our connection to God and others.    Jesus restores that connection.  

1 John 1:7 (NIV)

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Think through the 5 stars.  Do you have a 5 star relationship with God?   Do you have a 5 star relationship with anyone?  

Build a 5 star relationship with God.  Then, start building 5 star relationships one person at a time

 Matt Wright, Willowcreek Church