How to make true friends

I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up all alone.   

It's not.  

The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel like you're all alone.  Robin Williams

Our culture is slowly becoming an emotional desert.  We may be surrounded with people; however, we feel like no ones knows us.  Our digital connections do not truly connect us with people.

As we look at our New Year's resolutions, we should be looking for deeper connections.  God did not create us to be disconnected.  God made us to know Him and each other.  

Matthew 22:37-39  (NIV)

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 

38 This is the first and greatest commandment. 

39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’

The essence of life is this connection. 

John 13:34-35  (NIV)

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I (Jesus) have loved you, so you must love one another. 

35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

The defining mark of a Christian is our connection to God and with each other.  The measurement of that connection is Jesus Christ Himself. 

We can have a 5 star connection with God and each other, but it's going to cost you. 

Here are the 5 stars of quality relationships.  This is what it's going to cost you.

  

1. Consistent time with God and other believers.  

Anything done without consistency is ineffective. You have to say no to a lot of things even to yourself to have consistent time with God. 

Jesus choose 12 believers to connect with.  Then, He choose Peter, James, and John to connect with even deeper.

2.  Quality time. We need to have quality time with God and other believers.  

Acts 2:44-46 (NIV)

44 All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45 They sold property and possessions to give to anyone who had need. 46 Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, 

What we put into something.  We get out of it.  Don't we say that we spend our time. What are you buying with your time and what is your time buying for you? 

3.  Will you trust God and other trustworthy believers, and can you be trusted by them?   

Independence breaks the connection.  What we need is interdependent not independence.  Paul said it like this.  

Philippians 2:3-4 (NIV)

3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

God will give you more than you can handle because God never intended for you to handle it along.

  

There is a risk to trusts.  We've all been burned, but we must learn to trust the right people again.

4.  We must share our lives authentically with others.   

We must share our emotions.  Didn't Jesus ask His friends to pray for Him before the cross?

We can have a one dimensional relationship with others.  Like when we share only work.  Then, we can have relationships that we can trust in all areas of our lives.    

Acts 4:32 (NIV)

32 All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had.

5. We must have faith in God and with trustworthy people of faith.  

When Adam and Eve sinned, we lost our connection to God and others.    Jesus restores that connection.  

1 John 1:7 (NIV)

7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Think through the 5 stars.  Do you have a 5 star relationship with God?   Do you have a 5 star relationship with anyone?  

Build a 5 star relationship with God.  Then, start building 5 star relationships one person at a time

 Matt Wright, Willowcreek Church

The Waiting Game

For when you can’t understand God and impatience threatens to overwhelm you...

Trust God

Even if it takes a long time. Keep trusting God. 

(Genesis 16:1-2) Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian maidservant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, “The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my maidservant (Sarah saud to her husband, Abraham); perhaps I can build a family through her.” Abram agreed to what Sarai said.

“Don’t complicate God’s promise with your solution.”

Even if it seems ridiculous.  Don't interrupt God's process. Keep trusting God.

(Genesis 18:10-14) Then the Lord said, “I will surely return to you (Abraham) about this time next year, and Sarah your wife will have a son (not through Hagar).” 

Now Sarah was listening at the entrance to the tent, which was behind him. Abraham and Sarah were already old and well advanced in years, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. 

So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my master is old, will I now have this pleasure?” 


Then the Lord said to Abraham, “Why did Sarah laugh and say, ‘Will I really have a child, now that I am old?’ Is anything too hard for the Lord? I will return to you at the appointed time next year and Sarah will have a son.”

Even if those around you don’t. Keep trusting God. 

(Genesis 21:6-7) Sarah said, “God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.” And she added, “Who would have said to Abraham that Sarah would nurse children? Yet I have borne him a son in his old age.”

Sarah’s Words of Encouragement

(Hebrews 11:11) And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise.

1.“Don’t try to get ahead of God when He isn’t moving fast enough for you.”

(2 Peter 3:9) The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. He is patient...

Don't let the wrong voices feed your mind.

(Psalm 37:7 NLT) Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes.

The secret to patience is doing something else of value in the mean time. 

2.“When you must wait, focus on what’s happening  in you, not what’s happening to you.”

(Romans 8:24-25 MSG) That is why waiting does not diminish us, any more than waiting diminishes a pregnant mother. We are enlarged in the waiting. We, of course, don't see what is enlarging us. But the longer we wait, the larger we become, and the more joyful our expectancy.

Patience isn't the ability to wait, but how you act while you're waiting. 

(James 1:2-4) Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

God has a much better plan for your life than you can have for yourself. 

3.“Even our very best cannot possibly compare to anything God has in mind.”

(Isaiah 64:4 MSG) Since before time began no one has ever imagined, No ear heard, no eye seen, a God like you who works for those who wait for him.

All scripture is from the New International Version unless otherwise noted.

Chris Hodges, Church of the Highlands

https://www.churchofthehighlands.com/media/message/sarah

Hope requires trust

1. Our Hope in God requires trust. 

Romans 4:18 New King James Version (NKJV)

18 who, contrary to hope, in hope believed, so that he (Abraham) became the father of many nations, according to what was spoken, “So shall your descendants be.”

Psalm 42:11 New King James Version (NKJV)

11 Why are you cast down, O my soul?
And why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God;
For I shall yet praise Him,
The help of my countenance and my God.

We must not trust in our circumstances or emotions but in God. They will lie to us. 

2. Anchors are anchored to something unseen (beneath the water).

2 Corinthians 5:7 (NKJV)

7 For we walk by faith, not by sight.

Refuse to be lead by your circumstances or emotions.  Allow God's Word change your perspective.  

3.  Our hope in God is found in a relationship with Jesus Christ.  

Psalm 62:5 (NKJV)

5 My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.

Isaiah 40:31  (NKJV)

31 But those who wait on the Lord
Shall renew their strength;
They shall mount up with wings like eagles,
They shall run and not be weary,
They shall walk and not faint.

Romans 15:13  (NKJV)

13 Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

The power of the anchor is not in the anchor, but what the anchor is attached too.  

Christ Hodges, Church of the Highlands

When Your Setback Seems Irreversible

SETBACK: A loss of progress, a defeat in a plan, or a reversal of good fortune.  

Anything that sets you back. 

What do you do when your setback seems irreversible and permanent.

Job lost everything in a day including his wealth, family, and health.  

Job 30:26-27 (NIRV)  I hoped good things would happen, but something evil came. 

I looked for light, but all I saw was darkness. 

My insides are always churning. 

Nothing but days of suffering are ahead of me. 

These are the five things that Job did T.R.U.S.T.

Tell God exactly how you feel.

1. When God listens to you,He wants you to be honest. 

2. God can handle any emotions that you have because He gave them to you. 

3. You are made in the image and likeness of God, and you have emotions because God has them. 

4. God never wants you to fake an emotion. 

5. Because you believe in God, You can complain Him.  


Who does an Atheist complain too? 


If you complain to God, that proves that you believe there is a God. 

6. What frustrations have you never talked to God about? God can handle it.   

Refuse to become bitter.  

1. Bitterness is saying that you don't trust your God.  

It proves that you're not seeing the big picture. 

2. Will you love God and trust Him no matter what happens?

3. You are not promised a perfect life on earth. 

4. Your faith will be tested. A untested faith is no faith at all. 

5. Life is not always good, but God is. 

Our brains are not big enough to understand our pain. 

6. How do you trust God when your heart is breaking? 

How do you keep your eyes on God when they are filled with tears?

7. The antidote to bitterness is praise. 

It is focusing on God and not your problems. 

8. You can build your life upon these principles even when you don't understand.   

a. God will never stop loving you. 

b. God has a plan for your life. 

c. God cares about every detail of your life.

d. God is in control of things even when you don't understand it. 

e. God will protect you. 

9. Bitterness will only hurt you.  Resist bitterness. 

10. Both bitterness or happiness are choices. 

You have a choice of one or the other. 


Which one do you want  happiness or bitterness?

Unite with other people who will help you to focus on God. 

1. God never intends for you to go through life on your own during...

a. Sorrow

b. Pain

c. Loss

2. Our natural response to pain is to withdraw from others. You need to grow closer to...

a. Church small groups

b. Weekend worship

3. Pain is a great equalizer.  Both rich and poor experience it. 

4. Never use evil to escape pain. (drugs, affairs, etc...) 

5. Increase the amount of time that you spend with God's people. 

6. What do you ask God for in a set back. 

a. Wisdom for a clear perspective. 

b. Strength to overcome your pain. 

7. Worship relaxes you and is good for you. 

a. It will extend your life.  

b. You'll remember that God is bigger than your problem. 

Surrender your future to God.

1. Beware of bad advice. 

2. Trust reveals itself in pain. 

3. Worry is the warning life that your faith is weak.

Trust Jesus for every detail of your comeback. 

1. What is in the gutter of your life that one little spark would burn your house down?

2. Pray for others before yourself.  When Job prayed first for others, God doubled what He lost. 

Message by Rick Warren, Saddleback Church
https://saddleback.com/visit/locations/onlinecampus?autoplay=true