When the Hurt is Deep

There are some really tough offenses in our lives, which are hard to forgive.  

What do we do when we've trusted someone, and it all comes down? 

What do we do about the betrayals? 

What do we do when the wound is deep, and the pain is real? 

To hold on to an offense, makes us feel like we're still in power.  

When I don't forgive, I'm the one who becomes the prisoner. 

When we pray for God's kingdom to come means that we want God's ways in our lives. 

It teaches us how to respond when the hurt is deep.      

Matthew 5:21-24  (NKJV)

21 (Jesus teaching) “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not murder, and whoever murders will be in danger of the judgment.’ 

22 But I say to you that whoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment. 

And whoever says to his brother,‘Raca! (means worthless) ’ shall be in danger of the council. But whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire.

We fail when we tell people that they are worthless or worth nothing to us. 

23 Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, 

24 leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift. 

Your first act of worship is forgiveness.  

1. To acknowledge what happened.  

It is admitting to ourselves and to the other person what we did to harm the other person. 

2. Ask for restoration of the relationship.  

3. Ask to restart on the journey of trust.   

What do we do if someone has hurt us? 

Matthew 6:12, 14,15  (NKJV)

12 And forgive us our debts,
As we forgive our debtors.

14 “For if you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 

15 But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

If you want God's kingdom to come, you must forgive. For our forgiveness to come from God, we must forgive.  

Everyone is forgiveness worthy. Not everyone to trustworthy.  Others do not have to ask for our forgiveness for us to forgive them.  

It must be a deliberate decision to release someone who has harmed us.  It's about letting go.  It is refusing to let someone to live rent free in our lives. 

How do we do it?

  

1. In our hearts, we invite that person back into the circle of humanity.  We refuse to see them through the lens of their offense.  

2. We yield our right to get even.  It's not about getting justice. It's yielding our right to revenge.

3. We release their future to God. We realize that it is God's right to redeem them and bless them.  

Forgiveness is not a new relationship; however, new relationships will not start without forgiveness. 

Jesus's kingdom ways lead to freedom. When we forgive, we set a prisoner free, and that prisoner is you. 

Notes taken from Willowcreek Church